It starts at the Turkish-Greek border. The last faces you see in Turkey are full of wrinkles through years of smiling. The first ones you see in Greece could curdle engine oil.

At the Greek Customs office, an official grumpily asked: "why are you coming into Greece?"

This was my third time through Greece. So, having been in the cab all day, and therefore having accumulated quite a reservoir of ironic humour particles, my reply was along the lines of: "To immerse myself in your wonderfully humourous and charming culture".

Greece is a member of the EU. As such, it has benefitted from many millions of Euros in grants for highway building.

Although many European inhabitants may conceive this as a waste of their taxes, let me put their minds at rest. It has been money well spent: you can now dash across Greece encountering only a minimal number of the natives.

Joking apart, I mentioned the Greek reluctance to smile to a laughing sales assistant on a ferry a number of years ago. I inferred to her that her attitude was rather out of step with that of the national character. She concurred, advising that there were large posters in Athens actually telling people to smile, and to welcome tourists more. Now, this may mean that the Greeks hate tourists, or that they are naturally grumpy. Either way, to an outsider...

Never mind. Now the main trans-Greece highway is nearing completion, the only people you have to trouble yourself with are the ones propelling cars. The ones who drive like preoccupied, partially-sighted, suicidal infants.

In the league table of hospitable countries on this trip, Turkey and Thailand both dance around the top. No prizes for guessing which sulks at the bottom.